just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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