So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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