And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
