omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
