I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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