She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm getting married
To pizza
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
