Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
