This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
