I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
