Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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