More tranny stories later!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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