He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
