i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
