that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
