Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Welp...herpes.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
im holly from the hills drunk
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
