Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
