and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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