It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
