And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
