I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
and she was petting her beer can
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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