I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
