I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
