His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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