Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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