He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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