Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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