My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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