so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Randomize
