So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
