uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
