whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
