my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
