I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
