You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
