Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Randomize
