i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
