she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
