Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
