I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
