This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize