She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
