So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
