ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize