Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
we made out on top of his cat.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
