The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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