love makes seman taste better
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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