only if we run a train.
done.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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