i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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