Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
bring money and cleavage
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My vagina is officially offended.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize