Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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