I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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