If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
