its not stalking. its research.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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