I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
