Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I love having hate sex.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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