can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
