I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
